Ken's Odd Dream
by chibiukyou
Summary: Ken has a dream. Random insantiy... and Farfie dressed as a daisy. 'Nuff said.


Author's notes: O.O *stares* Now… for anyone who has been reading my other fic, Fallen Tears, yes, this is the alternate dream sequence that I cut for Ken… I was convinced by an outside party that this version wasn't productive to the 'plot' of the fic and so I had to write a whole new one for it… *sob* But for all your unfortunate peoples out there! I post this one… x.x If you have a weak heart or just generally like things with the tiniest bit of sanity I would advise you not to read this… It frightens me and I'm the one that wrote it…It was my attempt at random humor, but I failed horribly (lack of sugar) and …yeah… It just came out …random and dumb… I'm sorry for anyone who makes it beyond this A.N. 

Warnings: Just about everything from this point down deserves a warning of its own… x.x Uhm… Major OOC, Odd pairings and Farfie dressed up as a flower…

Ken's Odd Dream

::Written By: 'Dear God I don't want credit for this' chibiukyou::

~*~ Standard Disclaimers Apply ~*~

Letting out a sigh, I sat myself down at the kitchen table, grateful for a small respite from the hustle and bustle of the shop. I was so tired, I could feel my eyes falling closed of their own accord. Snapping them open I shook my head slightly. _::Can't fall asleep… I'm still on duty::_ I thought, scolding myself. Youji had given me a ten minute break, seeing how I was dragging my feet and snapping at customers. Lack of sleep'll do that to you. 

With a small shrug, I closed my eyes briefly as I decided that I would allow myself a quick catnap of about five minutes. And then I'd have to get back to work, I couldn't very well leave Youji to fend for himself all day, no matter how tempting the idea might have been. I felt my lips curl up into a small smile as the darkness overcame me, and I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Only to be woken up about ten seconds later by Youji bursting into the kitchen yelling loudly.

"KEN! OH KEN!" My head jerked up and I blinked at the blonde man blearily. _::What the hell could he want?! I still have at least about ten minutes on my break!::_ I thought angrily, cheated once more out of my sleep. I narrowed my eyes to glare at Youji, but instead they opened wide in shock.

There was Youji. Standing in the middle of the kitchen. Wearing a sailor dress, complete with the little hat and stockings. And licking a lollipop. 

"Oh my god." I think I was about to faint. "YOUJI!?!?!" My eyes felt like they were the size of those American half-dollars and I was pretty sure my mouth was gaping open like a fish. Youji just looked at me, his eyelashes fluttering in a manner that I would have called coy, had this not been Youji. In a sailor dress, complete with the little hat and stockings. Licking a lollipop. In the middle of the kitchen.

"Yes Ken?" He might have been going for the school-girl-trying-to-be-sultry-seductive voice, but what came out sounded like what the love child of Pikachu and a doggy chew toy would sound like. Needless to say, it wasn't that pleasant. He swaggered over to me, and yes, swaggered is the correct word. Apparently, not even Youji can walk straight in high heels. ::_Wait a minute?! High heels? Oh god::_

"What –are- you doing?!?" My voice must have come out harsh and cold, because Youji's eyes immediately filled with tears and he sniffed pitifully. He stumbled over to the table and sat down on the edge of it, his eyes still looking hurt. I had almost started to feel sorry for him, despite everything, when all of a sudden, the kitchen door slammed open, causing the pans on the wall to rattle.

Snapping my jaw shut, I whipped my head around to face this new intruder, moving instinctively in front of Youji so that this new 'visitor' couldn't see him. I did not want to be seen with him looking like this. I would never live it down. My eyes widened to the point where it was almost painful as I beheld Aya in the doorway. Only this couldn't be Aya. 

Aya didn't grin like that. Aya did not wear tight leather pants. And Aya most definitely did –not- carry around a pink bunny. 

"LA LI HO!" He yelled, bouncing into the room. I stumbled back a step in shock, and I was beginning to think that my face would be frozen into a look of permanent shock. Aya stopped a few steps in, his violet eyes flitting from Youji, to me, and back to Youji again. His grin, if possible, grew wider and he winked at Youji. "Hey sweet thing. You're cute. Wanna have sex?" He asked Youji, his eyes roaming over the playboy's sailor dress-clad body. Swanky was the only word that I could think of that described his attitude. And that alone was enough to scare me. Aya and swanky should never be used in the same sentence. 

Youji blushed at Aya and blinked prettily before slowly running his tongue along his lollipop. Aya mock growled deep in his throat and grabbed Youji's wrist, pulling the crossdresser to him. Youji in turn, threw his lollipop over his shoulder and kissed him full on the lips. I stared in shock. Yep, my face was frozen. 

"Will someone PLEASE tell me just what the HELL is going on here?!" I said, my voice raising in volume as I spoke. The two of them stopped their activities for a second to look at me, faces blank. I felt like tearing my hair out in frustration. "Youji! Why are you dressed like that? And you too Aya?!" More blank stares. _::I must be going crazy. This can't seriously be happening!::_

I sat back down at the table, burying my face in my hands. _::Okay… take deep breaths. There's got to be a logical reason to this::_ I tried to calm myself down, but despite the deep breaths and rational thinking, I could still feel my blood pressure rising. _::Good god, I'd better go close up the shop before any customers come in and see this.::_ I thought to myself frantically. 

I was halfway to the kitchen doorway, deliberately ignoring the two freaks that were making out on the table, when I heard the front door open and Omi's laugh. _::Omi's home! Thank god! Maybe he knows what's going on:: _I hurried to make it out of the kitchen, but a hand grabbed my shirtsleeve before I could leave, and I glared at Youji.

…Who was still on the table, his shirt half off, busy with the leather-clad Aya who was licking his collarbone. _::But if they're over there, and Omi is still in the shop, then who's …?::_ My eyes traveled down the length of the arm, and up into a scarred, pale, grinning face surrounded by white petals. My heart stopped. ::_OH DEAR GOD! ITS FARFARELLO AS A DAISY!!::_

I blinked and rubbed my eyes with my free hand, hoping that it was just a horrible horrible hallucination. But when I looked again, the psycho of the Schwartz was still there, his lanky body clothed in a shiny, green, -women's- swimsuit, with a daisy costume on his head. Oh and black fishnets. _::How did he get in here?!::_

Yanking my sleeve out of his grasp I stumbled backwards until I could feel the comforting hardness of the wall behind me. Gasping, I could only stare as he held his arms above his head and twirled like a ballerina. I heard clapping off to the right of me and I looked to see Omi standing in the doorway, cheering happily for the man turned flower.

"Omi!" I said breathlessly, my eyes darting distrustfully around the room. "Do you know what's going on here?" I looked back at him, only to notice that this time he wasn't alone. A pair of arms was wrapped around his waist and the evil face of Crawford peeked over his shoulder. Omi ignored my questioning, choosing to instead, make introductions.

"And that's my mom and dad on the table. Mom's the one in the dress." He was saying, pointing to where Aya and Youji's make-out session was. They stopped briefly to wave at Brad before continuing with what they were doing. "And that's Farfie, he's our pet flower." Farfarello bowed in the direction of Omi before continuing with his twirling. 

"OMI!?" I shrieked, my voice incredulous. _::What is he doing?!?::_ He blinked and looked at me. 

"Oh Ken! I didn't see you there! This is my new boyfriend, Brad. Isn't he so cute!?" Omi said, his voice sounding like a young girl's. I stared in disbelief. _::Okay. This, I can't take. I could handle Youji, I could ignore Aya, I could even…ugh, our pet –flower?!- But not Omi dating one of Schwartz. That's just not right::_ I blinked again as I realized Brad was talking to Omi.

"But Omittchi…" Was that Crawford –whining-?! "They're doing it! Why can't we!?" He said, gesturing over to the two on the table. With his other hand he was tugging on Omi's shirt, trying to take it off, but Omi swatted his hands away. 

"Not while Ken's watching!" At least he granted me that much courtesy. To not have to watch the love of my life making out with one of my enemy. Very kind of him. Now if he would just kill me and put me out of my misery, that would be perfect. "Oh look!! The circus is in town!!" He was jumping up and down like a little kid, and pointing to the far side of the room. I followed his finger with my gaze and immediately did a double take.

There, at the other side of the kitchen were Schuldig and Nagi. Both in multi-colored, skin tight jumpsuits. Dancing. And singing. 

"…Boku wa kimi no Vanilla!!" Gackt. Singing Gackt. _::Someone. Please. Kill me now.::_ They joined hands and kicked their feet in the air, all the while singing their horrible rendition of Vanilla. (a/n: Can you cancan to Vanilla? Sounds pretty hard O.O) Farfarello, jumped and did twirls around the room, in time with the music and even Aya and Youji stopped what they were doing to join in clapping. 

I blinked, trying to clear my eyes, and when I looked again, that pink bunny Aya was carrying around earlier had someone become life sized and had joined in with Schu and Nagi. I think at this point I was hyperventilating and the twitch in my left eye was becoming permanent. Looking over to where Omi was, I tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Omi. Please tell me that you know what's going on." I begged. "Why are they here?" He blinked at me, his eyes blank for a second, before a huge smile spread across his face.

"Well, Ken." He pointed over to where the dancing freaks were, and I looked to where he directed. "Because this is your dream." Just in time to see the shoe fly off of Nagi's foot and hit me square in the forehead…

…Only to find myself nose-to-flowered tablecloth with the kitchen table. Groaning, I lifted my head and winced as a dull ache settled itself behind my eyes. My head had slipped off my hand while I was sleeping, only to thud into the table, waking me up. I glared accusingly at the table, blaming it for my headache. _::I can't believe that was all just a dream. That was so messed up.:: _Glancing at the clock I saw that only seven minutes had passed. _::I was stuck in there for ONLY seven minutes!?:: _It seemed like hours to me. 

Thinking back to what had happened in the dream, I shuddered. _::Our pet flower::_ I vowed to never sleep again.

"KEN! Get out here! I need help!" Youji's annoyed shouting reached me and I sluggishly stood up and went out into the shop to help him. _::Well, at least he isn't using that squeaky voice.::_ Just thinking of that was giving me the creeps, though I doubted I would ever be able to look at sailors the same way again.

The End.

Author's Notes (the sequel): Oh. My. God. I can only hope you scrolled down to this, having not read it … and I'm sorry to anyone who is now mentally traumatized from this…x.x I know I am… o.o (though I can't be held responsible… uhmm.. sue the people that made WK… u.u they're their characters *nods sagely*) ^_^


End file.
